Tales of a New Mikveh Lady

My entire marriage, I looked forward to the mikvah. There was something about the waters that allowed me the space for prayer, self love, grounding and restarting. I became super connected to mikvah after a support group for pregnancy loss culminated with mikvah.  After that, I treasured it more for saving me post traumatic loss.  

Fast forward many years. 2025, I completed the course to be a mikvah attendant through The Eden Center while in the process of divorce. I knew more than ever that I wanted to do this for women. To create the space for them to get what they needed. If I’m lucky, bring back the friends I know that only went the night before their wedding.  

I was turned away from the first attempt at offering my services at a local mikvah. They had enough hands. So I wasn’t sure if this was going to be in the cards for me. 

Two weeks ago, I celebrated my daughter’s bat mitzvah and finalized my divorce. That same day, I got a call that they were looking for a balanit in the newly renovated mikvah. By Thursday, I had the keys and the following week I scrubbed it clean and couldn’t have been happier. 

I held an open house for an hour the day prior to its opening. Two women came, the Rav’s daughter and her cousin.   

The next night - I became the mikvah lady. What did I learn the first day? While I thought I could crash course on the ride over - I just had to leap into the water.  

I was pretty anxious.    

I expected it to be more black and white, but it wasn’t and I realized that every time a woman comes - it will never be cookie cutter or the same experience. Just come from the heart, be welcoming and trust the process. Ask for help with any doubt and questions.   Judith and Naomi were a phone call away.  

What surprised me the most was how after she left there was something different in the air.  Like I could feel the space open up.   

I daven at the Kotel. I light my Shabbat candles and on and on. 

I stared at the picture of the Rav’s wife that I had framed. She was the balanit before she passed away. We never met. But I honestly felt her presence there. Like a reassurance. I felt like I was so safe to daven- to speak to Hashem, like a direct dial.   

Two days later, the second client. I was way less nervous. This time Iit the unscented candles. It calmed me and the space. I shorted the circuit and so the lights went out. Quickly fixed.   Another night ending in tefilla and gratitude. Another night of me and the Rav’s wife.     

To show up for women in this way is one of Hashem’s greatest gifts to me.    

Another good lesson, the less you say the better.   

Kosher. רק ברכות. Seagal Hagege was born and raised in New Jersey, where she lived most of her life. On October 7, 2020 she made Israel home.

On October 7, 2023, she hosted a kiddush in the shul to mark the third anniversary of her aliyah. It wasn’t until afterward that she discovered what had happened that morning: the beginning of the Hamas massacre in southern Israel.

That discovery led to an epiphany as she was still struggling to find meaning in her newly adopted home. “My whole life, I felt like no shoes fit,” she said.

October 7th that changed. It wasn’t until after the war began that the shoes fit.

Since the 7th she has spearheaded a grassroots fundraising initiative, single-handedly procuring and delivering crucial tactical gear and equipment to our IDF troops throughout Israel.

Today, she is an also a balanit in Tel Mond. To hold this holy space for women, to feel safe and nurtured, if just for a moment is a dream come true.