“I Will Meet You There”: Sacred Time and Space in Marriage

Co-Authored by Rabbi Dr. Zvi Grumet and Dr. Naomi Marmon Grumet

When first presented to Moshe, the Mishkan was designed to be the meeting place between God and Israel. “I will meet you there” (Shemot 25:22), God says. It is for that reason that later it becomes known as the Ohel Moed, the Tent of Meeting.The Hebrew word moed (מועד) comes from the root ו-ע-ד (vav-ayin-dalet), meaning "meeting."

To paraphrase Ramban in the beginning of Parashat Terumah, God was not interested in a one-time encounter with Israel; He was interested in a long-term relationship. To enable that relationship there needed to be a place where the people could “meet” with Him. The Ohel Moed was intended to be a physical space where Am Yisrael and God could further their relationship. Where Hashem’s presence would rest, where the people would come to encounter Him, and they would continue their relationship in an ongoing fashion – distinct and different from the interaction with all other peoples.

That idea takes on an entirely new dimension as near the end of Vayikra (Leviticus). Chapter 23 presents the full array of special days on Israel’s calendar. One of the phrases which both introduces and closes the chapter identifies the special days as 'מועדי ה  (moadei Hashem); again using the word מועד (moed) to connote “meeting.” 

When we take a step back it turns out that this chapter is essentially a follow-up to the Mishkan. Whereas the Mishkan or Ohel Moed presents the place for Israel to meet God, the moadim (festivals) were the time to meet. God sets out a calendar of meeting times, each special day representing a different aspect of our encounter with God. In contemporary terms, it is a “date calendar” for the relationship between Israel and God, with unique markers for each of the special events representing different aspects of that relationship.

Linking these ideas, the Torah teaches us a profound truth about relationships: meaningful connection requires both designated time and sacred space.

Shavuot: A Spiritual Anniversary

Of all the holidays, Shavuot provides a particularly apt model. It commemorates the giving of the Torah, the ultimate covenantal moment between God and Israel. This was the moment when the relationship took on its fullest form—where commitment was formalized, and mutual responsibilities were articulated. It’s the spiritual equivalent of a wedding anniversary.

Just as couples might commemorate their wedding day with special intimacy, reflection, and celebration, so too does Shavuot remind us of the need to regularly mark and renew our deepest bonds. It’s not just about remembering the past—it’s about re-experiencing it (hopefully in a deeper, more nuanced way) each year.

Applying the Divine Model to Marital Relationships

This Divine model of connection—sanctifying both time and space—offers powerful guidance for how we might approach our marriages today.

In many ways, our marriages are miniature sanctuaries. Like God and Israel, we do not want our love to be a one-time declaration under the chuppah. We yearn for an ongoing, deepening relationship. But relationships don’t sustain themselves on autopilot. They require maintenance, investment, and most importantly—intentionality.

It’s not enough to simply live in the same house, share chores, or raise children together. These are necessary elements of life partnership, but they are not sufficient for cultivating emotional and spiritual closeness. Just as the Mishkan was not just any tent but the Tent of Meeting, our marriages must include moments and places intentionally set aside for connection.

Sanctifying Time: The Power of Date Nights

One clear lesson from the moadim is the power of regular, sacred time. Shabbat, holidays, and festivals on the Jewish calendar serve as rhythmical pulses that draw us back into closeness with the Divine. Similarly, “date nights” in a marriage can function as these pulses for our romantic and emotional connection.

These dates don’t have to be elaborate or expensive. What matters is the mindset: that this is time we are carving out solely for each other. Time when we are not parents, workers, or caretakers—but simply partners. Whether it’s going out for coffee, taking a walk, or sitting together in quiet conversation, the goal is to reconnect on a level that transcends the daily grind.

Sacred Space: The Marital Bedroom

The Mishkan was sacred space. It was treated with awe and reverence, and access to its innermost parts was limited to the most intimate and sacred of encounters. In our marriages, the bedroom serves a similar role.

Our bedroom should be more than just a place to sleep—it should be a sanctuary for intimacy, vulnerability, and connection. It’s the space where we shed our external roles and bring our most authentic selves. In a world filled with distractions, it’s crucial to preserve this space as a haven for closeness.

This doesn't just mean physical intimacy (though that is an essential component), but also emotional and spiritual closeness. It is where we can touch, talk, hold, and dream together without interruption. Keeping this space sacred means respecting it—not letting phones, work, or stress dominate it. It means recognizing the holiness in the connection shared there.

Building a Mishkan in Our Homes

Ultimately, just as the Israelites built the Mishkan to bring God's presence into their midst, we, too, can build a mini-Mishkan in our homes. When we intentionally create time and space for connection, we invite the Divine presence into our marriages. We transform ordinary moments into holy encounters, and our relationships become sanctuaries of love, trust, and intimacy.

God taught us how to love through His relationship with Am Yisrael. He created a space and designated times to meet, to connect, and to grow together. If we take that model seriously—if we build our own “Ohel Moed” in time and space—then our marriages, too, can reflect the sacred covenant at the heart of our tradition.

Rabbi Dr. Zvi Grumet is a Jewish educator and a student of Tanakh. He has written eight books on Humash and dozens of articles on education. Dr. Naomi Marmon Grumet is the founder and director of The Eden Center. She has a PhD in sociology.