What a blessed, joyous first experience for my daughter, embracing her into the mitzvah of mikveh immersion in a manner that will hopefully connect her to Hashem - and her beloved – with warm, wonderous ties of happiness and holiness, for blessed decades of fertility to come. It was this very positive experience of hers – and of mine alongside her – that struck me painfully as so very much in contrast to my own tevilla experiences.

For many women, immersing in the mikveh is one of the most private and spiritual moments of the month, a time for reflection, renewal, and connection.  Yet, even in such a sacred space, it’s not only allowed but essential to advocate for your comfort and sense of dignity.

But as the time drew near, I pushed these fair arguments out of my head and just took it one step at a time. I cleaned myself in a halachic permitting manner, checked myself, walked out of the house (I left my children with my guests) and trekked to the Mikvah...

When my husband Josh z”l passed away on May 18, 2023, I felt as though much of my own identity was lost with him. There are countless books on aveilut, on personal grief, and on family grief... Yet I have not found words that speak to the widow’s loss, to my loss, of religious identity.

What does it feel like when someone witnesses you with love in their eyes? A mikveh attendant has incredible power as a witness.

At its core, Judaism teaches the concept of Tzelem Elokim—that every person is created in the image of the Divine. That means your body, exactly as it is right now, holds holiness.